Fabulous New Quotes by Anne Taintor… (love her)

“Why do dishes when you can do daiquiris?”

“Now that he had bought the cow, the mild was going to be extraordinarily expensive.”

“Hmmm what can I buy today?”

“She liked imaginary men best of all.”

“Damn straight I keep score.”

“Medicated and motivated.”

“What muffled screams, officer?”

“Old enough to know better, too young to give a rat’s ass.”

“She could see no good reason to act her age.”

“All I want is an umbrella in my drink.”

“He was not as fascinating as he had once appeared.”

“She could no longer pretend he wasn’t an idiot.”

“You be Thelma, I’ll be Louise.”

“I believe we hav an opportunity to make some extremely poor choices.”

“Just think of me as a challange.”

“I just love the bitch in you.”

“She was one cocktail away from proving his mother right.”

“I refuse to let common sense cloud my judgement.”

“Domestically Disabled.”

“Her proudest achievement was staying blonde.”

“I love not camping.”

“I live in fantasyland…and I have oceanfront property.”

“And to think that I’m only using one-tenth of my brain!”

“My garden kicks ass.”

“She had not yet decided whether to use her power for good…or for evil.”

“She was living proof that looks could be deceiving.”

“She wasn’t always right, but she was always articulate.”

“She couldn’t remember what was better…safe?…or sorry?”

“She threw herself eagerly into the paths of unsuitable men.”

“Frugal is such an ugly word.”

“Darling! Let’s get deeply into debt.”

“Am I the last sane person on this planet?”

“It’s so involved being me.”

“It would of course, have to look like an accident.”

“He couldn’t become a distant memory soon enough to suit her.”

“Martinis…they’re not just for breakfast anymore.”

“Someone was going to have to set a bad example.”

“Am I living happily ever after yet?”

“I dreamed my whole house was clean.”

“Meow”

“Gosh, he went well with the drapes.”

“Id rather be walking the dog.”

“Whatever had she done? and with whom?”

“Golly, that was fun.”

“Alone at last!”

“It’s not who you marry that matters, it’s who you divorce.”

“An attitude is a terrible thing to waste.”

“She had made yet anotehr wise shopping decision.”

“Whoever said “less is more” had probably never had quite enough “more.”

“Of course it buys happiness.”

“Naughty?….Nice?…it could so easily go either way.”

“So much depended on how one defined “naughty.”

“She was one plum pudding away from a yuletide meltdown.”

“His thoughtful gift had “exchange” written all over it.”

“The holidays , she believed were no time to excercise restraint.”

“Ta-daaa! Now let’s have a cocktail!”

“Funny, I don’t recall asking for your opinion.”

“Honey, you couldn’t handle half of me.”

“Do the words “gifted and talented” mean anything to you?”

“I feel a sin coming on.”